Privilege & the Language of Safe Space and Boundaries
Privilege & the Language of Safe Space:
How the language of safe space and boundaries can be used to avoid accountability for oppressive behaviours and discussions of privilege
A lot of people in my life use the language of safe space and boundaries. Sometimes I use this language too, as a tool for talking about my feelings, what I need, things that make me uncomfortable. I think it can be particularly useful when taking about sex, sexual assault, and situations of abuse. It’s important to be able to articulate clear boundaries for oneself, to be able to clearly and unequivocally say “No”. To have spaces where certain behaviours are not accepted or tolerated. In terms of creating safer spaces, I think, for example, about anarchists, punks & other radical folks who throw dance parties where sexual harassment is defined very clearly. In these situations, people making others uncomfortable are asked to change their behaviour or leave in order to create a safer space where womyn, and others don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable. Thus, creating a safe space that has limited tolerance for oppressive behaviours will necessarily exclude those who continue to engage in those behaviours.
So this style of communicating our needs, setting our boundaries, and looking after one another can be incredibly useful. But I have been experiencing a growing discomfort about how this language has and is being used by a number of my friends and allies over the past few months. It has been hard to put my finger on the root of my wariness and to name these concerns until quite recently. In the past few weeks, though, stemming from ongoing tensions in my personal life and in solidarity movements I participate in, my attention has focused on the privilege inherent in this language. It can be used to deny accountability, avoid conversations about complicity, and all in all, to allow white womyn to continue to engage in oppressive behaviours while reaffirming their own victimhood or innocence.
But first, some clarity on what I mean by oppression and privilege. When I use the word oppression, I’m talking about racism, sexism, ableism, classism, and any other hierarchical system that puts certain groups of people at an advantage over other groups of people. As Peter Gelderloos notes, it’s about more than just personal attitudes: those who belong to a more powerful group hold power over those who are targeted by oppression. This might include greater legal rights, control of economy, government and cultural institutions, and members of dominant groups can generally “infringe on the rights of members of the oppressed group without being punished” (Gelderloos 2005). Furthermore, individuals who are privileged by this system are taught not to see their privilege. We’re socialized in such a way that it takes a lot of uncomfortable learning to think about the ways that we’re complicit in these systems of privilege and oppression.
Furthermore,
“Use of the term “privileged” is not intended to blame privileged people for the systems of oppression into which we were born any more than the intent is to portray oppressed peoples as helpless victims. Rather, the purpose is to admit that we have a responsibility to challenge oppression, because oppressive systems enlist us, willingly or unwillingly, as accomplices in their perpetuation, and we can not absolve ourselves of our participation simply by improving our attitude… Oppression is a way that society is organized, and you cannot avoid it while remaining a member of society.” (Gelderloos 2005)
We are complicit in structures of oppression and privilege whether we are conscious of our complicity or not, and this ability to remain ignorant about our own privilege is itself a privilege and one of the key ways these systems of privilege and oppression are maintained.
When I talk about the privilege that exists in using the language of safe space and boundaries, I am not suggesting that these white womyn should not be able to articulate their boundaries and expect to have them respected. I do, however, mean to point very clearly to the fact that not all womyn can use this language and have others respect their boundaries. This seems to be linked with race and class privilege.
Beyond this, I’ve noticed white womyn using this language in a way that avoids having to listen to the concerns of one’s own complicity from womyn of colour and indigenous womyn. Used in this way, the language of boundaries and safe space has been taken up as a tool to avoid the hard work of thinking about one’s own day to day complicity in systems that sustain oppression.
I have noticed white womyn, whether they identify as feminists, or anarchists, or not, using this language to avoid reflecting on one’s own privilege and racism, and to avoid meaningful dialogue with indigenous womyn. I have noticed this language paired with the common derailing tactic of personal accusations and drama. I have noticed the language of safe space and boundaries used as a carte blanche, so that everything, suddenly, centres around this one person (usually a white, female-bodied feminist).
All other dialogue is thus rerouted or shut down, including criticism of the racist behaviours of the white womyn in question – dialogue initiated by womyn of colour and indigenous womyn. It has been used as a shield for avoiding accountability for one’s own oppressive behaviours.
This is a huge problem in our movements, especially in terms of linking together our struggles. Appropriating this language as described above contributes towards ongoing patterns of colonial oppression, and furthermore, it hides its oppression in what many take uncritically to be inherently radical and anti-oppressive language, which makes it all the more insidious. This language is a tool that needs to be used critically and self-reflexively. As useful as it is to speak about our needs and desires, it can also be used to silence womyn of colour, indigenous womyn, and others, while the invisible privilege of white womyn goes unnamed and unchallenged.
I write this from a position of respect and friendship, and want to encourage my friends and allies to be humble and brave in continuing to recognize the ways that our actions, and the ways we listen or speak over others is bound up in systems of privilege and oppression.
We need to recognize that belonging to some category of “oppressed” peoples does not absolve us of responsibility for challenging the ways in which we are oppressive towards others, including those we call friends and allies. We need to continually work on consciously unlearning these behaviours. We need to practice these skills on an ongoing basis — it is not enough to understand the theory of privilege and oppression in the abstract.
How do we embody unlearning racism? What practices do we engage in to be responsible and accountable when it comes to privilege and oppression? How do we cultivate non-defensive listening skills? How do we react and respond when we are called out on our oppressive behaviours? Think hard, and think critically about these questions. Knowing how we would like to respond is not always the same as how we do respond. It’s hard work being open and accountable, and I want acknowledge the bravery it takes to do this work. I also want to thank all of the friends who have shared their wisdom with me, without whom these reflections would have been much more difficult to convey.
